Pain into Purpose - How to get over a Loss

Pain into Purpose

Our Blues Jays lost in the World Series this weekend Game 7, 11th inning, Inches away from winning it all. About as close physically and literally as they could’ve gotten.

And now, the team powered by friendship and a beautiful style of baseball may never be together as the same group again. At minimum as a team they will have to wait another year and grind through another 162 games, and the playoffs for a chance.

On that note this weeks Fountain is about bouncing back from losses.

Nobody will go their lives without losing. Especially the ones who are the most successful. The difference often lies in how you dust yourself off and bounce back.

A huge tip of the cap to the Bluejays and thanks for bringing a new generation of fans to the sport.

⏳️ Estimated Read Time: 5 minutes

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Losing and failure don’t feel good, but that’s kind of the point.

That ache in your chest is proof that you cared. What matters next is what you do with those feelings.

You can let it weigh you down, or you can let it fuel you. The best competitors and business leaders know how to turn pain into purpose. They take the loss, let time do its work, and come back better for it.

There’s no shortcut through it. No silver bullet that makes it easy. You just keep showing up.

You can’t rush the next win. You can’t make Christmas come in March, as Jim Rohn said. You have to let time, perspective, and persistence do their work.

When our kids come home from loses, we tell him to feel it. Don’t hide from the sting.

If it truly hurts, let it turn into something useful. That feeling you hate right now is the same one that you can draw on when you need strength.

If you gave your best, you were fully in it, and it still didn’t go your way → we feel you. When you’re ready, learn from it. You’ll know if you truly gave it your best. Being honest with ourselves might be one of the hardest parts when things don’t go our way.

Above anything else if you “lose”, you’re not a loser. You actually played. Give yourself credit for getting field.

After the Blue Jays’ season ended, Ernie Clement said something simple but honest in an interview: “I just love these guys.”

That’s what you want to hear from a teammate after a loss.

When you lose as a team, the best thing you can do is not blame a teammate, it is to be a good teammate yourself. To pick eachother up and find the bright side, the silver lining, the hope of a new day.

But you win and lose together. That’s what makes the pain worth it — knowing you weren’t alone in the fight.

As a leader, your job after a loss isn’t to lecture or point fingers.

It’s to communicate. To look people in the eye and remind them that one bad day doesn’t define them. To make them feel better after your message than before, and at the same time giving yourself a little pep talk at the same time.

Great leaders make their teams feel optimistic after failure, not worse. They help people reconnect with the belief that got them there in the first place. That’s how you keep a group moving forward when the air in queit or teary in the room.

Some losses go deeper than a season or a scoreboard.

For us, one of the biggest was trying to have kids. You can do everything right, follow every step, and still face heartbreak that no one prepares you for.

That kind of loss teaches patience on a level that has nothing to do with performance. It strips everything down to faith, time, and hope.

We’ve also lost friends. Some to their own battles, some to circumstances that remind you how fragile life really is. Those moments stay with you.

Like most families, we’ve had loved ones get sick and family member pass. That leaves perspective, gratitude, and a deeper appreciation for the small, ordinary moments.

Ria recently shared a great excerpt from Mel Robbins about training the mind to be present.

It sounds simple, but it’s powerful. You can’t change what’s already happened, and you can’t control what’s coming. The only way to relieve stress and anxiety is to return to right now.

When things get hard, it’s easy to retreat, to stop talking, to go quiet. But that’s when connection matters most.

Another way we get through each failure, small or large, is to seek out guidance from people who have gone through the same losses. Seek community. Let people in and it feels good being vulnerable with mentors or people you trust.

After the World Series, I sent a message to a close friend who works for the Dodgers. Congratulating him, as a good sportsman, even through the sting of the loss to say he is a champion on and off the field and he put a great team together.

Losing with humility is its own kind of win.

When you can respect the people who beat you, you congratulate, and you move on. You remind yourself that competition is what keeps you sharp. Just like the best tradition in sports, the handshake line after each series in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

And sometimes, when you imagine doing a small favor for the people who beat you — even if it’s just wishing them well — it turns resentment into peace. It frees you up to keep moving forward.

The big losses that shape you are the ones that turn you into someone capable of the success you’re chasing. The Bulls don’t become the Bulls without the Pistons and the Celtics. The Oilers aren’t the Oilers without the Islanders.

Time will soften the pain and great people, great teams, and great perspective on its still a game and not life or death. You’ll look back and realize that every loss gave you something — clarity, humility, perspective, strength.

You can’t win without failing first. You can’t become a leader without learning to lead through loss.

And maybe that’s the real reward — to walk away knowing you cared, you played, and you’ll get back up tomorrow ready to do it again.

I hope anyone reading who is going through a loss feels a little better and remind them brighter days are still ahead.

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