Working with your Partner

Relationships

Ria and I met in the summer of 2007, at Wakefest - a wakeboarding and music festival on Okanagan Lake in Kelowna.

We were in the beer gardens with a bunch of mutual friends. After talking, it turned out we went to the same high school 10 years prior. The rest is history (Ria did have a circle around my photo in the yearbook and it said “hot” beside it and I will never let her forget that fact).

We get asked constantly how and why we work together as a couple. So today, we’ve decided to go through some of the questions we’ve heard over and over again.

Inside this issue:

Let’s get into it.

⏳ Estimated Read Time: 8 minutes

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Working together as a couple

Today is a little different. In our quest to get better, we’re trying a question and answer format. We’ve compiled the common questions we get and answered them, together. My (Trent) answers are in blue, Ria’s are in red. If we missed any questions please hit reply and let us know. Enjoy.

We get asked a lot about the “decision to work together”. Truth is, Ria and I didn't really decide to work together intentionally - we "worked" together because at the time we met I was starting SAXX and the company was my lifestyle and there was very little differentiation between work and non work.

Ria and I worked well together from the start and had a lot of fun going to events, and creating the brand in the early days. 

Might sound crazy now, but we didn't set any ground rules we figured it out as we went along and dealt with each challenge or opportunity as they came.

We define our own success as individuals and then we talk about our shared dreams and values. (DREAMS CARDS)

Then we combine our thoughts and refine our definition of success along the way.

What was important in the past may be less important today, but Ria and I are not successful by any one else’s definition - we have designed our life and humbly been able to manifest that reality.  

How we handle disagreements about the business without letting them spill over into our personal life?

We have a pretty similar appetite for risk - we value creativity, inventiveness and adventure while also being thoughtful about the value of money. This alignment means we don't often have large disagreements. When we do though, we will take a time out and come back together to find agreement, and usually we take turns conceding our position (often asking myself: is this a hill you want to die on?).

Who gets the final say when you can’t agree?

It depends on the area in discussion - we tend to have certain areas where one person is stronger or more experienced/passionate. We try to let each other shine in our areas of expertise so that we can learn from one another. When it comes to finances and how to use/save/allocate, we normally spend a good amount of time doing analysis so that we can find a logical point of agreement. 

Do you schedule regular check-ins about work, or is it a constant, ongoing conversation?

We don't do regular, structured check ins although that is probably a great system for some couples.

We have consistent conversations and debriefs, usually right after meetings or issues arise, and then another debrief at night before bed if there's anything we really want to get off our mind or talk through.

How do you create space for your relationship outside of work?

Thursday Date lunch, Concerts, and Coffee - we do a lot to divide the line with work and play - we try to blend them for the most part, but we always do Thursday date lunches (which could be a dinner date too) and we look forward to those.

It is part exploring and part fun. We also don’t have a power struggle for which concert or place we go too, it more about the activity than the thing itself.

We love to look ahead into the calendar and schedule events like concerts or games - so creating memories is also a big part. Lastly we have coffee and go for walks and just try our best to listen without taking personal offence. 

Do you have any rituals for “switching off” business mode?

Being part of sports teams, or weekly rituals,  monthly rituals. Being part of a poker game, playing mens league hockey, coaching, volunteering, are all examples of things I do to switch off business mode. I think routine is part of the time I am "on" and "off" and priority of family now, versus other priorities.   

What’s the best thing about working with your partner?

The flexibility and freedom it provides.

At the end of the day we know what each other is going through, we have natural empathy and efficient communication because we are going through it together.

What’s the hardest thing?

Turning off the business conversations, making time for dates and fun but we try to put it on the calendar and plan events like concerts etc.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give to couples thinking about starting a business together?

Power struggles are the root of discontent. Do your best to leave your ego at the door and listen with the belief your partner cares and is trying their best to do what's best for your lives and the business. Focus on your common goals rather than the list of who does what.

Is there a common mistake you see other couples make when they mix business and personal life? 

Can you share a time when working together made you stronger as a couple?

When we sold SAXX and to start another business together. We could have chosen to not work together again - but instead we started again and were successful. So reinforced our confidence to go out together to build that bridge to the unknown.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced together, and how did you get through it?

The biggest challenge we have faced together would be the challenge to have babies and we got through it by praying and believing that a blessing would come. We became better a s a couple and wanted to be parents more deeply from our experience.

Is there a moment in the business you couldn’t have pulled off without each other?

All of them.

What’s a funny or unexpected thing that’s happened because you work together?

We have been more successful and achieved more that our biggest dreams. It is very unexpected where we have arrived in some ways but bring so open mined as a couple has allowed us to arrive right where we are supposed to be.

If you are working with your partners - we recommend you to

Updates and Opportunities

What others are saying?

We launched our new Instagram, building off the great community of Kitsch Wines. If you haven’t followed you should!

The Fountain is growing fast. We’re looking for someone hungry, detail-oriented, and excited to help keep things moving behind the scenes. From organizing workflows to supporting content and community efforts, this is a virtual role that would suit an administrative creative.

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